It’s also a key tool in BDSM relationships. Maybe it’s because your partner seems very vanilla, and anything past the missionary with review dimmed lights will send them running for the hills. Or perhaps you think it’s just too “weird”. Back in ancient 2019. we got an idea to create an eBook of sorts, an eBook that8217;s will contain all our favorite kinky sex ideas. These are all normal feelings, and we8217;ll try to answer your questions as well as we can. When it comes to the appeal, it could be that donning these roles helps us escape our everyday life, whether the role involves giving up or taking control. Researcher Justin Lehmiller identified escapism as a potential reason why BDSM fantasies are so appealing . And while he was specifically looking into fantasies, and not the reality of BDSM, it seems reasonable that it could translate.